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Earl Lieb's Meat Market

Hello, I'm Earl, and I'll give you a giant slab of freshly slaughtered beef for just $29.95.

At Earl Liebs's Meat Market, we'll sell you any kind of meat that we can.

We have deer, pig, buffalo, gazelles, mule, steer, bull, goat, turkey, chicken, quail, pheasant, and everything else that we can legally slaughter, rip, grind, slice, dice, chop, maim, decapitate, and gut.

Earl Lieb's Meat Market can even help you get rid of your unwanted elephants, rhino, giraffe, and any large animal that you don't want anymore, and for a small charge, we'll turn them into sellable cuts of meat.

Earl Lieb can make meat out of anything except racehorses, unless they break a leg and you have to shoot it dead with a rifle. Otherwise, we won't make meat out of dogs, cats, small birds, hamsters, gerbils, vermin, ferrets, rabbits, ex-wives, mothers-in-laws, nagging sisters, misbehaving children, and anything else not mentioned.

Come to Earl Lieb's Meat Market.

We'll paint you with a slab of meat for $29.95 or less!

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