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Mac vs. PC vs. Stan

Mac: Hello, I'm a Mac.

PC: And I'm a PC.

Mac: My operating system is superior.

PC: My operating system is a standard.

Mac: But your standard is a...

Stan: Hold it you two! Just hold it!

Mac: Who the heck are you?

Stan: Look. What is the point of these stupid ads? You're not telling me anything but fluff and babble. I want to know about your operating systems. What is it about them that would make me buy one of yours?

Mac: Mine because it's better.

Stan: Why is it better than PC's?

Mac: Uh, um, Because it's a Mac?

Stan: That doesn't explain anything to me, does it?

Mac: It should.

Stan: But it doesn't. Look, PC, why is your system a standard, and why should I buy it?

PC: Because it's on over 90 percent of computers worldwide.

Stan: And how did it get to be on so many computers?

PC: Because it could be used on any Intel and AMD-based computer.

Stan: Mac? Can your OS be used on any computer?

Mac: Well. no. Just on the Macs.

Stan: That doesn't make it portable enough to be a standard, does it?

Mac: Well, no.

Stan: OK, you two, let's run down what each of you can do.

Mac and PC: Fine!

Stan: Can your browse the Internet?

Mac and PC: Yes.

Stan: E-mail?

Mac and PC: Yes.

Stan: Twitter? Upload files? Download files? Facebook? Stream video and audio? Run programs? Play games?

Mac and PC: Yes.

Stan: So what's the difference between you two?

Mac: I don't run on PC's.

PC: I can run Mac's OS with emulation software.

Mac: I get less virusses.

PC: I'm lower priced.

Mac: I set the standard in OS.

PC: My OS improvements blow yours over.

Mac: You ripped us off!

PC: Your OS sucks.

Mac: Up yours, PC!

PC: Loser!

Mac: Moron!

PC: That's why I'm in more homes.

Stan: OK. you two. I get the point.

Mac and PC: Really?

Stan: I'm convinced that I'm going with Linux.

Mac: Are you freakin' crazy?

Stan: Linux is open standard, cheaper, and won't run Windows or Mac OS. No more dealing with expensive operating systems.

PC: Asshole!

Stan: Come in, boys!

Linux 1: I'm a Linux.
Linux 2: I'm a Linux.
Linux 3: I'm a Linux.
Linux 4: I'm a Linux.
Linux 5: I'm a Linux.
Linux 6: I'm a Linux.
Linux 7: I'm a Linux.

Mac: You're insane.

PC: This is crap. Let's get out of here, Mac!

Stan: Bye, losers. Linux is the winner.

Mac and PC: Screw you, Stan!

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