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Radio Detonator

Annnouncer: Has this ever happened to you?

Radio: This is Corporate FM where we tell you what your favorites are, whether you like them or not. And here comes another song we chose for you to listen to!

Radio plays a bad love song in the background until the explosion sound two minutes later occurs.

Sufferer: AHHH!! Take it off! I can't stand it! Ugh! This is awful! Bad song!!

Announcer: How many times have you been forced to work in the office while a bad song like this comes over the intercom? You try to blot it out from your brain, but it's just no use. Productivity suffers. Brain cells die. Deadlines are missed. What can you do?

Sufferer: Make it stop! Help!

Announcer: Well, now you don't have to suffer while corporate radio ignores your pleas for intelligence, because Shamco is back with a brand new way to get even with Clear Chanel and all those other corporate radio drones. It's the Radio Detonator 3000 by Shamco. It's designed to seek out the source of hte problem, and to eliminate the source. Here's how it works.

Sufferer: Help me. Help me.

Announcer: Just aim the Detonator directly at the speaker whence the offending song came, then turn it on.


Announcer: The Detonator will sniff out the location of the radio station transmitter by reverse converting the speaker sound back to the radio station frequency, then backtrack the signal all the way to the source of the offending material.

Sound of Detonator blasting off into the sky.

Sufferer: When is the torture going to end?

Announcer: Be patient. The Detonator has to travel a few miles. It's going as fast as it can.

10 seconds later

Sound of massive metal explosion. Bad music on the radio ends.

Sufferer: Oh! What a relief it is. Now I can get back to work.

Announcer: Yes, now you can tell a radio station what you think about their stale and wimpy playlists by blowing up their transmitters and putting them out of commission.

Sufferer: Hey boss! I want some groove music on the intercom, or else!

Now playing: SM Trax' "Got The Groove."

Sufferer: Yeah! This is hip!

Announcer: The Radio Detonator 3000 by Shamco comes fully assembled and contains enough explosives to blow up one radio transmitter. Please, nobody under the age of 30 is allowed to use this product. Order one today.

Don Lardo: Just send $999.999 to Detonator, Pier 46, New York, NY. Supplies are limited. This offer will expire when this commercial parody ends.

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