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Radio Sucks

Radio Sucks
It's what I say.
I can't believe
What it plays
All the good music
cannot be found
Top 40's so bad
I don't stick around.

All the PD's
Have forgotten
How to play music
That isn't rotten
They won't even play
Comedy no more
They play pop acts
That are a bore.

You won't even like it
If you're too old
Today's top 40
Is way too cold
You take off the world
of dementia
You get boring radio
You betcha

What PD's should do
is add novelty
It's right for you
It's right for me
Today's top 40
has no soul
Like yesterday's
Rock and Roll.

Back in the day,
Music was good
It was listenable
As it should
There was music
for everyone
Even radio itself
used to be fun

Novelty used to
be on the air
Back then radio
was once fair
It's not the same
Top 40 radio
is totally lame

Folk and Swing
Adult Contemporary
Soul and Jazz
Rock and Country
Reggae and Disco
Comedy and Novelty
A little but of teen pop
Not a lot, you see?

Casey Kasem
Counted Them Down
He was everywhere
In every town
Top 40 was fine
Used to be cool
But today's top 40
Is made by a fool

They won't break out
Good music acts
'Cause teens don't care
That's a fact
Top 40 today
is made for teens
Infantile music
is now mainstream

They play a lot of
rock and rhythmic
It's so monotonous
It makes me sick
Top 40 has reached
the nadir now
Selection's so bad
It smells foul

A stupid band
Black Eyed Peas
Had a big hit
With I'm a bee
Sounds demented
But it's not
It's full of expletetives
That's what its got.

They make an awful
lot of money
for making songs
that are unfunny
Please don't tell me
it's the new dementia
That's a lot of bull
You betcha.

Once upon a time
in radio land
Novelty and Mainstream
went hand in hand.
I once heard a few
I thought they were
here to stay.

I could get a laugh
from a silly song
From the 50s to 70s
It couldn't do wrong
Then the 80s came
It wasn't good
Radio got serious
As it would

Fewer novelty songs
ever got played
Radio was
in decay
Thanks to Dr.
He kept the funny
on the radio.

We could still
get a smile
for hearing some funny
for a while.
We stayed demented
throughout the decade
We also enjoyed
the video arcade

Then the 90s came
it was a mess
Local radio
was in distress
came along
One of its victims
were novelty songs

It was the rise of
corporate radio
There goes the Dr.
Demento show.
Radio playlists
Got more bleak
was very weak

But coming up
from our phone lines
Was the Internet
during these tough times
You could say
Like Obi-won
It's our only hope
to hear the fun

Thanks to the launch of
music streaming
Dr. D was back
Internet was king
We could get demented
You could hear the doctor
Here and there.

But in the year
Someone came
to ruin our fun
got really mad
So did AFTRA
They're also bad

They affected
streaming radio
Once again the victim was
Dr. Demento
We went from 20
to just 3 streams
I thought it was
a real bad dream

But dementoids went
and banded together
To stay demented
With each other
Websites were built
for funny stuff
We just couldn't
get enough.

Dementia stations
began to stream
More funny bands formed
What a team
We stayed informed
of the latest news
of dementia music
by all the crews

Novelty lives
but not on the radio
Dementia's fun
Top 40 is dull
It's an awful
Crying shame
When top 40
is so lame

Radio sucks
It's what I say
They won't play
Novelty today
I funny radio
is a good source
for novelty
and comedy of course

So just remember
what I have said
Corporate top 40
radio is dead.
Radio Sucks
It's what I say.
I can't believe
What it plays

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