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The So-Great Debate of 2008
Q: We're here somewhere in America where our 20th anniversary of our So-Great Debate series will commence.
For the So-Great Debate of '08, we will have three Presidential candidates for our debate between John McCain, Barrack Obama, and Ralph Nader.
Q: Mr. McCain, you don't sound so good. What were you doing earlier today?
A: I pulled my groin.
Q: Are you taking something for it right now?
A: Pills pills pills, I'm filled with pills.
Q: Mr. Obama, you were almost late for tonight's debate. What have you been doing?
A: I've been busy on the phone giving tech support for dad.
Q: And Mr. Nader, you seem over excited. What were you doing just now?
A: Playin' with the centipede.
Q: Could you please test your microphone? Let's start with McCain's.
A: Can you hear me now?
Q: And Obama's?
A: Can you hear me now?
Q: And Nader?
A: Can you hear me noooooow?
Q: OK. Let the So-Great Debate of '08 begin! Let's start with Mr. Nader.
A: Capitol Hill is where I want to go.
Q: Wait a minute. I haven't asked a question yet!
A: Was I too early? Should I start over?
Q: Mr. Nader, how would you descirbe this presidential debate?
A: This is the ultimate showdown...
Q: And if this election ended up in a tie, how would you three break the tie?
A: Knife fight!
Q: Mr. McCain, how would you criticize Mr. Nader when it comes to the issue of what America wants?
A: He's the guy who doesn't know things.
Q: And Mr. Obama, what do you think about Mr. McCain?
A: You're pitiful.
Q: Mr. McCain, what would you say about former presidential candidate Hilary Clinton.
A: She's got a tongue like a Kodiak bear.
Q: Mr. Obama, Why should the citizens trust a Democrat for president?
A: George Bush lied about weapons of mass destruction.
Q: Mr. McCain, Why should the public vote for you?
A: I'm a pretty decent guy (henry phillips).
Q: Mr. Nader, You're running way behind the two leading candidates who represent the Democratic
and Republican parties. How do you react to that?
A: This calls for the Wilhelm Scream.
Q: And where are your campaign headquarters located at?
A: My secret lair on Skull Crusher Mountain.
Q: Mr. McCain, And where are your campaign headquarters located?
A: Beverly Hills 90210.
Q: Mr. Obama, what about you?
A: Brokeback Mountain.
Q: Our infrastructure is falling apart. Mr. McCain, What would you ask Congress to do?
A: Do you have a band-aid?
Q: Mr. Obama, What is the number one crisis facing America?
A: Disgruntled shooter on the loose.
Q: Mr. Nader, America hates inflation, foreclosures, and the war in Iraq. Is there anything Americans love?
A: Everybody loves Flintstones.
Q: Mr. McCain, If you were elected president, what would you give to every citizen?
A: Liquor and Whores.
Q: And if you're elected, Mr. Obama, what would you promise to give the citizens?
A: Spam spam spam (Sudden Death)
Q: If elected, Mr. Nader, what do you promise to give the citizens?
A: Bacon bacon...
Q: Mr. McCain, What is your position on the use of our military forces?
A: I want to blow up and bomb anyone I disagree with.
Q: Mr. Nader, The military forces capture Osama Bin Laden and bring him to justice.
What will the Supreme Court say to him?
A: All we want to do is eat your brains.
Q: And where will we put Osama after that?
Q: Mr. Obama, when you capture Osama Bin Laden, what villian will you go after next?
A: The villian who wears no pants.
Q: Mr. McCain, What would be your number one weapon to fight terrorism?
A: That's grandma's uterus.
Q: Mr. Nader, Who would be your fantasy first lady?
A: Lindsay Lohan (luke ski)
Q: Mr. McCain, Who would be your fantasy first lady?
A: Lindsay Lohan (power salad)
Q: Mr. Obama, Who would you want to be your fantasy first lady?
A: Lindsay Lohan....(d.t.)
Obama? Obama? Obama? OBAMA?
Q: Mr. McCain, you told me that your biggest wish is to command the Starship Enterprise. Tell us why?
A: If William Shatner can do it, so can I.
Q: Mr. Nader, Your biggest wish is to become a cowboy. Tell us why.
A: Cowboys are frequently secretly fond of each other.
Q: Mr. Obama, What does the letter "C" stand for?
A: C is for lettuce is good enough for me.
Q: Mr. Nader, You told me earlier that you had a pet cat. Tell us something about your cat.
A: My cat is afraid of the vacuum cleaner.
Q: Mr. McCain, What do you enjoy eaating?
A: I eat donuts (dr. pants)
Q: Mr. Obama, What special knowledge do you posess?
A: 99 words for boobs.
Q: Mr. McCain, What do you pride yourself of being?
A: White and Nerdy.
Q: Hey Mr. Nader, get up. Why are you laying down on the floor?
A: I'm eating a cheeseburger on the floor.
Q: Why are you doing that, Mr. Nader?
A: Does that make me crazy?
Q: Mr. Nader, spell beer run.
A: B double E double RUN Beer Run.
Q: Mr. McCain, If you lose this election, what would you give your campaign leader?
A: Swift kick in the rear.
Q: Mr. Obama, And if you lose the election, what plan would you use?
A: Move to New Jersey and become a comedy rap artist.
Q: Mr. Nader, What will become of you if you lose this election?
A: B.A. Clown.
Q: Mr. McCain, If you lose this election, what will you do?
A: I'll spend the rest of my life eating glue.
Q: And this ends the So-Great Debate of '08, the 20th Anniversary Edition.
Q: Audience? Who would you vote for President in 2008?
A: Captain Jack Sparrow.
A: Optimus Prime.
A: Coco Crisp.
Q: This is the end of the debate. Good night.
A: Ah -----, it's over.